The other day I met a German theatre agent who was very fond of something I wrote. "I'm sure," she said, "this play could be a big audience success. Problem is the theatre principals will not produce it. Would you mind using a pseudonym?" My answer was a puzzled look. "Sorry," she said, "I don't want to hurt your feelings. But fact is, German theatre directors only consider new plays by English or French authors. If you write in German you'd better have some personal connections or a good aka." Well, I don't have connections. I hate to work on connections. But I also hate lies. "Too bad," she said.